There are certain people who are absolutely fanatical when it comes to their fascinations with dolphins. I call these special treats, Porpoise People. And trust me, these unique individuals are by no means exclusive to beach communities. I can’t tell you how many times I have been driving through some little poedunk  mountain town, East or West, and marveled at some maniac’s yard centered around a giant porpoise fountain. Inevitably, they also have a mailbox fashioned into a life size replica of a dolphin, and guaranteed, if you enter their house you’ll find china dolphins prominently placed, collector dolphin plates affixed to the wall, and quite possibly some ridiculously large and expensive statue made out of metal or crystal that the dog is completely afraid of.

What is up with this obsession?

Just the other day I was out paddling my sea kayak off the coast of Honeymoon Island, and a number of them surrounded me while hunting for food. The way they wrangle fish is so dramatic and fun to watch that one can’t help but feel a little jealous. It would be like getting up from the dinner table and doing a triple back flip followed by a few smacks of your ass on the table just for good measure.

I have to admit there is something captivating about these creatures. Dolphin’s actions wreak of intelligence, their physical abilities are astounding, and they seem so damn happy and carefree one would think they had the option to be human but decided, ‘Nah, I’m cool here, thanks.”

So, maybe I am a little understanding of Porpoise People. At least they don’t surround themselves with idols they eat like those crazy Pig People…